The Dreaded C-word

As much as I love Christmas, a part of me dreads it at the same time.  I think it stems back to when I was a kid.  Since my parents were divorced, I was bounced around my entire Christmas break trying to attend a million Christmases at different relatives homes and I would get sick every year.  Now that I have kids, the stress is even greater.  Between relatives and presents and non-stop schedules, I am exhausted.  Well yesterday my Christmas got a little worse.

My step-mom told me that my dad was diagnosed with skin cancer.  It's basal cell carcinoma - which is the best kind of cancer to have if you're going to get cancer.  Basically it means it hasn't spread, it's very common, and treatment involves cutting it out.  He won't need radiation or chemotherapy.  Although that is a relief, it's bringing little comfort at the moment.  For one, as soon as I hear cancer, I immediately have bad thoughts.  Second, my grandfather (my dad's dad) died from skin cancer.  He had melanoma but still...If it was any other family member I might not be so worried.  But my dad takes no responsibility for himself or his actions.  He didn't even ask the doctor any questions when they told him he had cancer. 

The thing that makes me feel the worst is that I am angry.  I am not sad, I am not sympathetic.  I'm just pissed.  He sits outside and fries - the man doesn't tan.  AND he has no plans of changing.  They are going to Key West for Christmas and he told my step-mom that he wasn't going to wear sunscreen b/c he sees no reason to change anything.  His father DIED from this disease and he sees no reason to protect himself.  This is a man who smokes like a chimney and told my sister that if he developed lung cancer then it was God's choice, so why should he quit.  I have a strong desire to beat the shit out of him.  Speaking of my sister, he didn't even tell her about it.  Why would they bother telling me and not tell her??  You can't pick and choose which of your children you're going to tell you have cancer and which one your not going to say anything too.  It's either both or neither.

I'm really sorry for complaining but I had to get this out tonight.  I'm having Christmas dinner with them tomorrow and I was afraid I would explode on him if I didn't get it out.  Then again, maybe an explosion is what he needs.  Maybe he needs someone to beat some sense into his thick skull before he kills himself via complacentcy.  Also, I'd like to thank Courtney.  She made me feel so much better about the whole thing this afternoon.  Unfortunately the anger hasn't worn off yet.

Ella's Third Birthday - times 3!

I am a very bad mom.  After two years of hosting a birthday party for Ella, I opted out this year.  First I had issues getting all of our family members together on one date and then we had a million Thanksgivings to attend...I just lacked the energy for it this year.  Next year we will have a big party and invite everyone.  This year, we had three seperate parties with each set of grandparents/aunts. 

The first one was at my mom's.  Aside from Nana and Pappy, Aunt Jessica and Uncle Tom were able to make it.  Plus we had a surprise guest, Colleen (my sister's best friend), who cracked us up with her odd noises and love of DQ ice cream cake (vomit!). 

On Ella's actual birthday, I took her to McDonalds for lunch.  This is a big deal because I NEVER take her for fast food, but I made an exception for her birthday.  Then Scratchy and Gammy came over and we had a delicious dinner at Marcella's (my favorite restaurant).  Ella had opened her presents before we left but after dinner we took Ella to Toys R Us to pick out a new toy.  Thankfully she didn't pick anything that we had already bought her for Christmas!  The poor girl didn't know what to do because it's not often that we go to a store and let her buy whatever she wants.  She finally decided on a Veterinarian kit that came with a dog, a pet carrier, and all the medical supplies you would need incase a stuffed animal gets sick or injured.  It was a great pick!

Her third birthday party happened on Saturday when Jason's parents and sister came down from Michigan.  Ella opened more presents, we went out to eat again, and took her to Build-A-Bear to make a stuffed Tiger that she picked out and proceeded to call "Kangaroo".  Grandma made her a beautiful strawberry cake and we all sang to her once again.  The next day Ella told me that she wants to be two years old and not three.  When I asked her why, she said she wanted to have another birthday.  She's a smart girl!

Daddy and Chub Chub

Aunt Jess and Ella were hiding from me - but I found them!

The only kind of icecream cake we Jenkins girls will eat!  Gotta love Cold Stone!

Opening presents from Aunt Jess.

At Marcella's

Mmmm...profiteroles!!

Ella's cake that Grandma Slentz made.

More presents!